Sacrifices too many to be made
But worth while.
SPM 2008!!!
Thursday, October 16
Final lap
I feel bad i am going to abandon this blog.
Actually since a long time ago i wanted too, but just can't part from blogging.
Yeah it's addictive!!
Anyhow it's time to stop for now.
My trial results overall were not satisfying.
Instead i feel like smacking myself over and over again for not doing enough.
In my school, there is a student who can score 100 for add maths and sejarah, there may be more.
WOW!! 100...for me if i become a study freak maybe i can become like her.
SPM is coming.
Since my good friend made the countdown in her blog so there goes
26 days more and still counting.
I will be skipping school, so to those people who love asking me hey did you go to school today, the answer is NO!!
By the way about handphone.
I will not be using it that often same goes to this computer.
You can still sms me if you are free, but sorry you gotta expect a late reply.
If you don't even get a reply, means i am in a bad mood or stress situation.
Aiming high, more sacrifices to be made.
Will be updating this blog right after SPM is over!!
I can't wait...
Till then..
Do pray for me ya!!
All the best to all SPM and STPM students!!
God bless and take care people!!!
Actually since a long time ago i wanted too, but just can't part from blogging.
Yeah it's addictive!!
Anyhow it's time to stop for now.
My trial results overall were not satisfying.
Instead i feel like smacking myself over and over again for not doing enough.
In my school, there is a student who can score 100 for add maths and sejarah, there may be more.
WOW!! 100...for me if i become a study freak maybe i can become like her.
SPM is coming.
Since my good friend made the countdown in her blog so there goes
26 days more and still counting.
I will be skipping school, so to those people who love asking me hey did you go to school today, the answer is NO!!
By the way about handphone.
I will not be using it that often same goes to this computer.
You can still sms me if you are free, but sorry you gotta expect a late reply.
If you don't even get a reply, means i am in a bad mood or stress situation.
Aiming high, more sacrifices to be made.
Will be updating this blog right after SPM is over!!
I can't wait...
Till then..
Do pray for me ya!!
All the best to all SPM and STPM students!!
God bless and take care people!!!
Tuesday, October 14
Aiks
Today i 'ponteng' school.
It's a waste of time being in school and many people are not going too.
Just yesterday i went. Only 16 of my classmates including me were present.
Others maybe, or most likely studying at home.
And studying real hard.
I am the only one who still wastes time doing nonsence things.
I need concentration to study.
Let me give you the picture on how it is like.
For example i am studying, suddenly i will start to play the piano then back to study.
Distractions ah!!!
And i take so long to study physics...
this shows sign of not studying enough.
My mum was asking me this morning, you plan to ponteng how many days? Until SPM?
I am sure you will ask me that too.
Hm..i will still go to get my final paper which is bm.
The teacher is plainly lazy so end up we have to wait like it's forever.
I will go when i feel like going.
Hope no surat amaran will be given.
Oh ya all the best to those PMR students who are already taking their PMR!
I'm late i know.
Just wishing althought i don't think anyone will read this.
Enough talking
It's a waste of time being in school and many people are not going too.
Just yesterday i went. Only 16 of my classmates including me were present.
Others maybe, or most likely studying at home.
And studying real hard.
I am the only one who still wastes time doing nonsence things.
I need concentration to study.
Let me give you the picture on how it is like.
For example i am studying, suddenly i will start to play the piano then back to study.
Distractions ah!!!
And i take so long to study physics...
this shows sign of not studying enough.
My mum was asking me this morning, you plan to ponteng how many days? Until SPM?
I am sure you will ask me that too.
Hm..i will still go to get my final paper which is bm.
The teacher is plainly lazy so end up we have to wait like it's forever.
I will go when i feel like going.
Hope no surat amaran will be given.
Oh ya all the best to those PMR students who are already taking their PMR!
I'm late i know.
Just wishing althought i don't think anyone will read this.
Enough talking
Saturday, October 11
It's just a small matter
Today i woke up, being in my happy mode.
I went to school today for a renjer puteri farewell.
It was specially for the form 5's to send us off.
I was expecting excitement and fun
But guess what?
My friends, the people whom i know for 5 to 7 years.
Their true colours just flare out in a few seconds.
today there is a teknik menjawab soalan physics and tomorrow is add maths.
Actually all teknik menjawab solan SPM is on a weekend so i actually gave up on all those seminars.
Althought it's beneficial but i am sure i can succeed by my own effort.
Back to my point, so they ask me whether i am going for the seminar.
I said no.
So they asked, why?
Reason 1: my parents are in ipoh. Dad has a district conference to attend.Mum has a
seminar on how to lead a healthy lifestyle or something like that. So i
definetely have no transport to go anywhere i want.
Reason 2: I am having youth meeting at 4 pm. Whereas the seminar is from 9 am to 5
pm. How am i going to get back for youth meeting.
So she said you can come to my grandma's house and i will send you.
I said nevermind, don't want to trouble.
And you know what she asked me?
So youth meeting is more important than SPM la?
I said yes.
Call me plain stupid but i find that it is important to attend church.
Not that i am "cakap besar" of myself, but i even gave up my plans to join the aktiviti gotong-royong which was held by the Interact Club of our school and it's on sunday.
My dad have a strict no on activities which clash the sunday worship service.
Anyway i just kept silence after she said everything.
But i was thinking, why can't she just be more sensitive to me? I have the freedom to perform my own religion the way i feel is right. I have been so sensitive to her by not discriminating her religion and respect their religion and beliefs. Why can't she just think before she talks?
It's not funny okay. Even if someone in Malaysia tries to bring up the issue on Islam and criticise it, i am sure the Government will take action.
There is a big difference between christians and non-christians.
Still, i accept it.
Anyway i treat it as a test of faith.
This statement will not make my faith be shaken!
Where will there be us without God?
You think SPM just came into place like that?
I put full importance on SPM but if you want to compare God is more important than anything even my life.
Look yourselves in the mirror before you even drop a comment to others.
If you think it's gonna be funny, i tell you it's a big NO!
Second point i would like to state,
I told my friend after she goes through this seminar, can you tell me how was it?
her response was: Why should i tell you? You wanna know, go to the seminar la.
This is so being selfish.
I am not gonna ask you what is the teknik, in fact i don't need it.
I can find out better solutions to be a successful student.
You can just tell me like was it boring or not.
Good or not?
Are you just scare i will score higher than you in SPM?
Be scare la then.
I don't want to predict on what will happen to these people in the future.
It's their own live, not mine.
Don't bother much.
I am not pissed off now, but at that point it struck me.
Silence is golden. It really is. Cos they stop talking after i kept silent
Fine i have to stop complaining for now.
I went to school today for a renjer puteri farewell.
It was specially for the form 5's to send us off.
I was expecting excitement and fun
But guess what?
My friends, the people whom i know for 5 to 7 years.
Their true colours just flare out in a few seconds.
today there is a teknik menjawab soalan physics and tomorrow is add maths.
Actually all teknik menjawab solan SPM is on a weekend so i actually gave up on all those seminars.
Althought it's beneficial but i am sure i can succeed by my own effort.
Back to my point, so they ask me whether i am going for the seminar.
I said no.
So they asked, why?
Reason 1: my parents are in ipoh. Dad has a district conference to attend.Mum has a
seminar on how to lead a healthy lifestyle or something like that. So i
definetely have no transport to go anywhere i want.
Reason 2: I am having youth meeting at 4 pm. Whereas the seminar is from 9 am to 5
pm. How am i going to get back for youth meeting.
So she said you can come to my grandma's house and i will send you.
I said nevermind, don't want to trouble.
And you know what she asked me?
So youth meeting is more important than SPM la?
I said yes.
Call me plain stupid but i find that it is important to attend church.
Not that i am "cakap besar" of myself, but i even gave up my plans to join the aktiviti gotong-royong which was held by the Interact Club of our school and it's on sunday.
My dad have a strict no on activities which clash the sunday worship service.
Anyway i just kept silence after she said everything.
But i was thinking, why can't she just be more sensitive to me? I have the freedom to perform my own religion the way i feel is right. I have been so sensitive to her by not discriminating her religion and respect their religion and beliefs. Why can't she just think before she talks?
It's not funny okay. Even if someone in Malaysia tries to bring up the issue on Islam and criticise it, i am sure the Government will take action.
There is a big difference between christians and non-christians.
Still, i accept it.
Anyway i treat it as a test of faith.
This statement will not make my faith be shaken!
Where will there be us without God?
You think SPM just came into place like that?
I put full importance on SPM but if you want to compare God is more important than anything even my life.
Look yourselves in the mirror before you even drop a comment to others.
If you think it's gonna be funny, i tell you it's a big NO!
Second point i would like to state,
I told my friend after she goes through this seminar, can you tell me how was it?
her response was: Why should i tell you? You wanna know, go to the seminar la.
This is so being selfish.
I am not gonna ask you what is the teknik, in fact i don't need it.
I can find out better solutions to be a successful student.
You can just tell me like was it boring or not.
Good or not?
Are you just scare i will score higher than you in SPM?
Be scare la then.
I don't want to predict on what will happen to these people in the future.
It's their own live, not mine.
Don't bother much.
I am not pissed off now, but at that point it struck me.
Silence is golden. It really is. Cos they stop talking after i kept silent
Fine i have to stop complaining for now.
Friday, October 10
Tell the truth before it's too late
Got this from rachel's blog.
I'm not the author of this story
Take Some Time and actually Read this
this is a GUY TALKING…
IT’S 7TH GRADE…
I stared at the girl next to me…She was my so called ‘best friend’… I stared at her…. Long, silky hair… And I wished she was mine… But she didn’t notice me like that… I knew it… After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before… And I handed them to her… She said ‘thanks’… And gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her…. I want her to know that I don’t want to be ‘just friends’… I love her but I’m too shy to tell her… And I don’t know why…
IT’S JUNIOR YEAR…
My phone rang… On the other end it was her… She was in tears… Mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart… She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone… So I did… As I sat next to her on the sofa… I stared at her soft eyes… Wishing she was mine… After 2 hours… A Drew Barrymore movie… And 3 bags of chips… She decided to go to sleep… She looked at me.. Said ‘thanks’ and gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her… I want her to know… That I don’t want to be ‘just friends’… I love her but I’m too shy to tell her… And I don’t know why…
IT’S SENIOR YEAR…
The day before prom… She walked to my locker… ‘My date is sick’ she said… He’s not going to go… Well… I didn’t have a date and in 7th grade… We made a promise that if neiter of us had dates…. We’d go together just as ‘best friends’… And so we did…
IT’S PROM NIGHT…
After everything was over with… I was standing at her front door step… I stared at her … She smiled at me… I wanted her to be mine… But she doesn’t think of me like that… And I know it… Then she said ‘I had the best time… Thanks!’… And she gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to telll her… I wanted her to know that I don’t want to be ‘just friends’… I love her but I’m just too shy… And I don’t know why…
IT’S GRADUATION DAY….
A day passed… And then a week… And then a month… Before I could blink… It was graduation day… I watched her… Perfect body…. Floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma… I wanted her to be mine… But she doesn’t think of me that way… And I know it… Before everyone went home… She came to me in her smock and hat… And cried as I hugged her… Then she lifted her head from my shoulders and said ‘you’re my best friend’… ‘Thanks!’… And gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her.. I wanted to know that I wanted to be more than ‘just friends’…. I love her but I’m too shy… And I don’t know why…
IT’S A FEW YEARS LATER…
Now I sit in the pews of the church… A church that she is getting married in now… I watched her say ‘I do’ an drive off to her new life… Married to another man… I wanted her to be mine… But she didn’t see me like that… And I knew it… But before she drove away… She came to me and said ‘You came!… Thanks!’…. And she kissed me on the cheek… I wanted to tell her… I wantd her to know that I didn’t want to be ‘just friends’… I love her but I’m just too shy… And I don’t know why…
YEARS PASSED…
I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my ‘best friend’… At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years… This is what it said… ‘I stare at him… Wishing he was mine…. But he doesn’t notice me like that… And I know it… I wanted to tell him… I wanted him to know… That I don’t want to be ‘just friends’… I love him but I’m just too shy… And I don’t know why… I wish he would tell me he loved me’… I wish I did too… I thought to myself and I cried…
I'm not the author of this story
Take Some Time and actually Read this
this is a GUY TALKING…
IT’S 7TH GRADE…
I stared at the girl next to me…She was my so called ‘best friend’… I stared at her…. Long, silky hair… And I wished she was mine… But she didn’t notice me like that… I knew it… After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before… And I handed them to her… She said ‘thanks’… And gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her…. I want her to know that I don’t want to be ‘just friends’… I love her but I’m too shy to tell her… And I don’t know why…
IT’S JUNIOR YEAR…
My phone rang… On the other end it was her… She was in tears… Mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart… She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone… So I did… As I sat next to her on the sofa… I stared at her soft eyes… Wishing she was mine… After 2 hours… A Drew Barrymore movie… And 3 bags of chips… She decided to go to sleep… She looked at me.. Said ‘thanks’ and gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her… I want her to know… That I don’t want to be ‘just friends’… I love her but I’m too shy to tell her… And I don’t know why…
IT’S SENIOR YEAR…
The day before prom… She walked to my locker… ‘My date is sick’ she said… He’s not going to go… Well… I didn’t have a date and in 7th grade… We made a promise that if neiter of us had dates…. We’d go together just as ‘best friends’… And so we did…
IT’S PROM NIGHT…
After everything was over with… I was standing at her front door step… I stared at her … She smiled at me… I wanted her to be mine… But she doesn’t think of me like that… And I know it… Then she said ‘I had the best time… Thanks!’… And she gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to telll her… I wanted her to know that I don’t want to be ‘just friends’… I love her but I’m just too shy… And I don’t know why…
IT’S GRADUATION DAY….
A day passed… And then a week… And then a month… Before I could blink… It was graduation day… I watched her… Perfect body…. Floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma… I wanted her to be mine… But she doesn’t think of me that way… And I know it… Before everyone went home… She came to me in her smock and hat… And cried as I hugged her… Then she lifted her head from my shoulders and said ‘you’re my best friend’… ‘Thanks!’… And gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her.. I wanted to know that I wanted to be more than ‘just friends’…. I love her but I’m too shy… And I don’t know why…
IT’S A FEW YEARS LATER…
Now I sit in the pews of the church… A church that she is getting married in now… I watched her say ‘I do’ an drive off to her new life… Married to another man… I wanted her to be mine… But she didn’t see me like that… And I knew it… But before she drove away… She came to me and said ‘You came!… Thanks!’…. And she kissed me on the cheek… I wanted to tell her… I wantd her to know that I didn’t want to be ‘just friends’… I love her but I’m just too shy… And I don’t know why…
YEARS PASSED…
I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my ‘best friend’… At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years… This is what it said… ‘I stare at him… Wishing he was mine…. But he doesn’t notice me like that… And I know it… I wanted to tell him… I wanted him to know… That I don’t want to be ‘just friends’… I love him but I’m just too shy… And I don’t know why… I wish he would tell me he loved me’… I wish I did too… I thought to myself and I cried…
Wednesday, October 8
Crazy chatbox
Hey, if you are experiencing problems posting message on my chatbox.
let me tell you, it's super crazy.
So do drop a commment on my posts instead of the chatbox.
Today one aunty came, she is really good in piano.
Actually she is a piano teacher, and she taught me how to play chords.
Thank You GOD!!!!
Finally at least i know some basics.
Fine i am crazy.
Current mood: up and down suddenly i will be happy and suddenly i am sad then angry.
Call it weird then.
Oh man i just am so disappointed with almost everything.
My life, my studies.
Suddenly i am just so emo.
Please God help me!!!
Well pray for me okay?
I got a great smack on my face today
Nope not anyone of my friends.
Emotional smack but still the whole body is kinda affected.
I think i better stop being emo.
Oh ya someone make me so happy that i was really laughing to myself.
Thanks ya? Although you are not gonna read this but well the simple message that was sent cheer me up a lot!
Things may change tomorrow right?
Life goes on..
let me tell you, it's super crazy.
So do drop a commment on my posts instead of the chatbox.
Today one aunty came, she is really good in piano.
Actually she is a piano teacher, and she taught me how to play chords.
Thank You GOD!!!!
Finally at least i know some basics.
Fine i am crazy.
Current mood: up and down suddenly i will be happy and suddenly i am sad then angry.
Call it weird then.
Oh man i just am so disappointed with almost everything.
My life, my studies.
Suddenly i am just so emo.
Please God help me!!!
Well pray for me okay?
I got a great smack on my face today
Nope not anyone of my friends.
Emotional smack but still the whole body is kinda affected.
I think i better stop being emo.
Oh ya someone make me so happy that i was really laughing to myself.
Thanks ya? Although you are not gonna read this but well the simple message that was sent cheer me up a lot!
Things may change tomorrow right?
Life goes on..
Tuesday, October 7
Aiks so far results are quite terrible for me.
Only manage so far to score an A. I got only a few papers.
But well that is just an A2.
Add maths was terrible.
My dreams were shatter after seeing the results. Got to practice more then.
Like what a friend said, look through the mistakes and the weak points.
Make some corrections in the way i study.
At the same time thanking God i didn't fail add maths. Imagine half of our class fail add maths scares me.
But like what teacher says study hard in this 1 month.
No time to lose.
Back to my studies for now.
Only manage so far to score an A. I got only a few papers.
But well that is just an A2.
Add maths was terrible.
My dreams were shatter after seeing the results. Got to practice more then.
Like what a friend said, look through the mistakes and the weak points.
Make some corrections in the way i study.
At the same time thanking God i didn't fail add maths. Imagine half of our class fail add maths scares me.
But like what teacher says study hard in this 1 month.
No time to lose.
Back to my studies for now.
Thursday, October 2
My 200th post!!!
Well this post or rather additional post to my day.
But let's ignore this for a while ok?
This is some prayer concern i have in mind
Not about me but about part of the country, manjung district
As you all know, manjung district is having a serious matter going on
Dengue cases are already getting more and more worse
I stay in the Manjung District, afraid of getting dengue
But no, this is not about me
there are people out there who died because of dengue
So christians, please pray that God will be in control of this situation
Right now, doctors aren't the only ones who can heal, only God can.
Another thing, christians in India are being persecuted.
Churches are being burn down.
Many christians sacrifice their lives for God.
Pray that the situation will change
We should be thankful for living in this country which is peaceful.
Thanks!
But let's ignore this for a while ok?
This is some prayer concern i have in mind
Not about me but about part of the country, manjung district
As you all know, manjung district is having a serious matter going on
Dengue cases are already getting more and more worse
I stay in the Manjung District, afraid of getting dengue
But no, this is not about me
there are people out there who died because of dengue
So christians, please pray that God will be in control of this situation
Right now, doctors aren't the only ones who can heal, only God can.
Another thing, christians in India are being persecuted.
Churches are being burn down.
Many christians sacrifice their lives for God.
Pray that the situation will change
We should be thankful for living in this country which is peaceful.
Thanks!
October already!
WOW time flies..soon it's SPM for next month
Do me a favour ya?
Don't ask me how's the preparation going.
I am gonna stop some tuitions.
Planning to go for bm tuition only
And it's on a sunday!!
This sunday the tuition will resume.
It's like my lazy bones are still in me
Someone mind to help me pick it out?
Tada..
WOW time flies..soon it's SPM for next month
Do me a favour ya?
Don't ask me how's the preparation going.
I am gonna stop some tuitions.
Planning to go for bm tuition only
And it's on a sunday!!
This sunday the tuition will resume.
It's like my lazy bones are still in me
Someone mind to help me pick it out?
Tada..
This is me by Camp Rock
I've always been the kind of girl
That hid my face
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say
But I have this dream
Right inside of me
I'm gonna let it show, it's time
To let you know
To let you know
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
Do you know what it's like
To feel so in the dark
To dream about a life
Where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it's too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way
This is real, This is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you, I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you, I gotta find you
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me (this is me)
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
That hid my face
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say
But I have this dream
Right inside of me
I'm gonna let it show, it's time
To let you know
To let you know
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
Do you know what it's like
To feel so in the dark
To dream about a life
Where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it's too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way
This is real, This is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you, I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you, I gotta find you
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me (this is me)
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
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